I’m having a pretty crummy day. It’s just been one thing right after another. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself and then I saw this music video on Perez Hilton of Macy Gray’s Beauty in the World. It helped brighten my spirits. Maybe it’ll help make your day a little brighter too.
I feel like a total failure today.
First, I was procrastinating doing anything productive by watching the videos on Momversation, which I’ve become totally addicted to. It makes me feel like I’m some part of a mommy community and I’m best friends with all these people I’ve never met. It’s mommy crack.
Anyway, Holden starts crying because he got hit with a soccer ball. Please understand that crying occurs at my house about every 10 seconds so I don’t really jump up at every “Whaaaaaaaa”. I paused my video and told him to come here and quickly assessed him. No blood or bumps so I told him “You’re okay. Suck it up. Why don’t you sit right here and play with this toy?”. He quickly quit crying and became distracted with the toy and I turned around and resumed watching my video.
About 5 minutes later, Lakyn comes into the kitchen and says “Oh my gosh, Holden’s bleeding!!”. Sure enough, the child has a bloody nose. Ugh. I feel awful. I was so preoccupied with this video that I didn’t even notice his nose was bleeding.
He is okay though. We didn’t have to make any rushes to the ER so I guess that’s good. Just a wet paper towel to clean him up and he was good as new. But I’m torn to pieces inside. I definitely will not be winning the “Mother of the Year” award for this one. Fail….
So, I pretty much felt like a snail today. I was slow to do everything and I didn’t really want to do anything. It was just one of those days. But then again, it seems like it’s been one of those weeks. I have endless amounts of laundry to do, but that never changes.
Today was just a funk. I was down in the dumps amount numerous things today, things I don’t understand. For instance, my husband works so incredibly hard. He puts in tremendously long days and rarely takes breaks. His phone is constantly ringing or beeping or he’s sending or receiving emails. I appreciate him so much for his diligence. But I’m frustrated. I see him working so hard yet we seem to struggle to make ends meet. It just doesn’t seem fair sometimes.
I’ve been a little depressed about our house situation. We’ve been on the market now for over 60 days, had over 20 showings but no offers. Not one. I really had high hopes that we would be one of those stories you hear about where they put the sign in the yard and it’s sold in an hour kind of thing. But no luck. I have to keep reminding myself that the Lord has perfect timing and it’ll happen when it’s right. But we haven’t had any showings in 2 weeks. AAAHHHH!
My kids were kinda crazy today. Maybe it wasn’t so much them as it was me being in my “funk”. They just seemed to be exceptionally difficult today with screaming, hitting, tantrums, unwillingness to share, ect. Needless to say, I really looked forward to nap time today.
With all that being said and all my “ranting” out of my system, I really do have so much to be grateful for. I am thankful that I have such an amazing husband that loves me on days like to day when I’m not really lovable. I am thankful that I have a husband who is such a hard worker and continues to give his best even when we don’t see the fruit of his labor.
I am thankful that I have a roof over my head tonight. I am thankful that I have a warm bed to sleep in with the comforts of cooling and heating. I am thankful that I was able to have a good dinner tonight and Lakyn helped make dessert. I am thankful for my children. I love my children. Sometimes, I forget to take a minute to stop and soak in their joy and innocence. Sometimes, I forget that they are so small. I love their laughter. I love that my children are each other’s best friends (which sometimes means fighting). I love that Lakyn begs me to please wait to wash the dishes (our dishwasher is currently broken, so we’re doing it the old fashioned way) until the morning so she can help me. I love Lakyn’s sweet spirit to nuture. I love Holden and his sweet hugs and the way he runs to me and says “Mommy” as he holds his hands up to be held. I love that when I play the guitar my children want to sing along. This can be annoying at times, but in truth I really love it. So at the end of the day, I’m thankful. I feel blessed. Very Blessed.