I fell off the blogging bandwagon for a minute but I am now back. Honestly, I’ve had a lot on my mind.
* Disclaimer: This post will talk about my pee. If that weirds you out, sorry.
When I went to the OBGYN last Monday to find out that we’re having a bouncing baby boy, I also had an appointment with my physician. Which was very much needed because I’ve been having some issues. I’ve mentioned on here before that I’ve had some UTI issues. Like I’ve had 6 (SIX!!) of them since I’ve been pregnant. So I’d finished up yet another round of antibiotics and was taking my daily preventative but I was having some symptoms. My urine was super dark and cloudy. Like apple cider. And there was a little blood in it. It was a tad alarming.
So at the OB’s office I pee in the cup and when the doc comes in the room he says “Your urine is pretty yucky.”. Really? I hadn’t noticed! So he tells me that he’s referring me to an Urologist because he can’t figure out why I’m having all these issues and that sounds great to me because frankly, I’m tired of it. So I set up an appt with the specialist.
Here’s were I’m going to go off on a little tangent. I knew that I would have to take both kids with me alone to the Urologist because TJ was not going to be able to get off work and we are “new” to the neighborhood thus we have NO babysitters. Seriously, I need a Mother’s Day Out. Like yesterday.
Anyway, I woke up in a delightful mood the morning of the appointment. I talked to the kids and explained that mommy had a doctor’s appointment today and they were coming with me and they would need to be on their best behavior. I packed a bag and let them each pick out some toys to bring to the office to keep them occupied. I bribed them and told them if they did well they could have a sucker and I put some in my purse. I had high hopes.
They were TERRIBLE! I was so embarassed. Maybe it’s because I made such a big deal about the appointment instead of just doing it. I don’t know. They yelled and screamed. They threw toys and stepped on them. It was awful. I had to apologize to the doctor several times though he was such a good sport. Let’s just say that didn’t make for a great day at the Taylor house. Does anyone have any ideas on how this could’ve been avoided? I tried to be prepared and let them know it was important, brought toys to keep them occupied, and they were jerks.
So back to the pee. The Urologist tells me that he’s concerned about a couple of things.
1. Preterm Labor – He tells me recurrent infection in pregnant women often leads to preterm labor. I told him that I already had a history of preterm labor with my other children and as a result, my OBGYN put me on Progesterone injections once a week to try to put that off. So that’s good. But he’s still concerned. He wanted me to finish this sixth round of antibiotics and do the preventative again only this time, twice a day. And he’d like to monitor me during the duration of my pregnancy and thereafter.
2. Kidney Stones – Apparently, it’s common for pregnant women to get kidney stones. I had gallstones when I was pregnant with Lakyn but they’re unrelated. He tells me he’s concerned that I have a kidney stone that’s become lodged somewhere and it’s backing up my kidney thus the dark urine and blood clots. This is pretty serious. If this is the case and it’s left untreated, I could lose a kidney. YIKES! He explained that when this happens, it’ll present as an infection but no antibiotics will fix it. The infection will keep re-occuring.
He told me that because I’m pregnant, he’d like to start with a Renal Ultrasound to see if one of my kidneys is inflamed or swollen. I told him I’d had some discomfort in my kidneys but only on the left side. If that’s what the ultrasound revealed, then we’d have to look at more invasive procedures but we’d wait on the results of the test.
So I went this morning and had the ultrasound done. The tech that did it was stone cold and didn’t imply anything. I kept trying to read her face but she was a statue. I go back to the Urologist on Thursday for the test results. I feel like it’s all in my head and I’m paranoid and there’s nothing wrong with me. In fact, I’ve been obsessing a little about how this is going to come back normal and we’re going to have spent all this $$$ for no reason. But I guess in the end it’s better that way, right? I certainly want to be healthy. I don’t want to appear to be freaking out over something that’s nothing.
So Thursday’s the day. Until then, I wait and torture myself.
I went back and forth on whether or not I wanted to know what we were having this go around. TJ knew he wanted to find out. I think I always knew I did too. People say “There are too few surprises left in the world. It’s best to wait” but it’s still just as much a surprise today. Plus, I like to plan so we went to the doctor today to find out what we were going to have. Oh and make sure the baby was healthy and had 10 fingers and toes, no cleft lip, four-chambered heart, etc. (The baby is totally healthy!)
The kids came with us and they were so excited. They looked up at the big TV and watched their little sibling squirm. It was really cute to watch them. All this time, I’ve had it in my mind that it’s a girl. I’ve envisioned little dresses and bows. But then at the office when I saw the baby on the screen, I immediately referred to the baby as a boy. And the tech asked me if I thought it was a boy because I kept saying “Oh look at his little feet” and “Look at his cute chubby cheeks”.
And then before I knew it, there it was. His little manhood staring me in the face. The tech said “Oh there’s no doubt about it. He’s ALL boy. I’m 100% sure”. My heart melted. Just to know that a sweet little boy would be joining our family gave me such joy.
So there you have it folks. The girls in the Taylor house are going to be outnumbered and we couldn’t be happier. Lakyn is trilled to be the only “princess” and Holden is excited to have a brother. TJ, of course, is over the moon.
2009 was a pretty rough year around the Taylor house. I can’t necessarily say that it was all evil. We did have some amazing moments and as a result of such a tumultuous year we have learned to take note of what’s really important. It’s not the money, bills, or work. It’s the valuable time spent with family, friends, and loved ones. It’s the laughter shared over a couple of drinks or the tickle sessions shared at bedtime.
I contemplated writing a timeline of our year, outlining all the many highs and lows, reliving each event. But in the end I decided I would focus more on the lessons learned.
Even when you haven’t been able to pay rent in 3 months, you’re on the verge of having all utilities disconnected and you’re not sure when you’ll be able to buy milk, it’s important to take a step back. Disconnect from reality. Give yourself a timeout. And think about all the things you have to be grateful for.
I’ve learned to slow time and really look at what’s going on around me. I take mental photographs for my treasured scrapbook that I keep filed away in my mind. I try to capture the little things. Those moments when the kids don’t know you’re watching them and they’re playing together lovingly. Moments where TJ is talking to the kids or hugging on them. Times when Lakyn is giving a concert to her stuffed animals. Rare instances when Holden is caught in a daydream. Those little moments that I always seemed to take for granted before because I was so concerned about when the next paycheck was coming.
I could go on and on about the financial struggle we endured and the strain it put on my marriage and my family. But at the end of the year, I have so much to be thankful for. We had amazing health. We love each other. We’ve learned to laugh through miserable situations and thank God for our life together. Because at the end of the day, that’s all we have…. each other.