Well I’m about 35 weeks now. I made the rounds with all the doctors yesterday to find that I have another (that makes 13) UTI infection and I’m still only dilated to a 1. Yesterday really wasn’t a good day.
I knew I had another infection by the way I was feeling. It’s the usual trend. I get towards the end of a round of antibiotics and I feel pretty decent. I feel like I could handle this a little bit longer. I’ll have energy to do the normal, required things around the house like laundry, dishes, taking care of the kiddos and still have a bit left to do something crafty. But then after a couple of days, I relaspe. I feel feverish, have burning when I pee, my back hurts in the kidney region, and I’m lethargic. Lately, I’ve felt nauseous too. Throw all that on top of the normal “pregnancy sucks and I’m sick of this crap” symptoms and you might get and idea of how I feel. Seeing as this is the 13th infection I’ve had in 35 weeks, I’m getting pretty good at recognizing the symptoms. Needless to say, I wasn’t suprised.
I was disappointed that I hadn’t progressed at all. I know it’s still early but try to put yourself in my shoes. I’m exhausted and I’m tired of feeling like this and I just want some relief. I’ve been having contractions for a while now and some are getting to bring tears to my eyes. I just want it to be over.
I told TJ yesterday that it’s still hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that a baby is coming from all of this. I can’t seem to grasp it. I feel all the movements and kicks and I know there’s a baby in my belly. But at the same time, it’s all a little surreal.
I think I’ve just been so distracted by the health issues that I haven’t been able to “enjoy” this experience if that’s even possible. None the less, my heart knows there’s a life in all of this even if my mind can’t comprehend it. And I think that’s what helps keep me going each day. Relying on my heart and not the things I know.